The Care and Keeping of…A Long-Distance Relationship

It was summer of 2018 and I was freaking out. I was about to spend a semester in New York as an intern and Ricky was about to start his first semester of grad school. We had a lot to be nervous about, but I was very anxious. Anxious, not for moving to New York City, working with professional journalists, or navigating the subway, but for what could happen to my relationship with my boyfriend.

Ricky and I met during my freshman (his sophomore) year of college. It became clear to both of us, after only a few months of dating, that we were in this relationship for the long haul. However, we never gave a long-distance relationship much thought even though it was imminent. The good news is, Ricky and I have handled the distance between us really well, even more so now that I’m back in Michigan and we can visit each other much more. So, today, I want to share with you what our secrets to success are.

Honesty is key

From the very beginning Ricky and I have always had an open and honest dialogue with one another. No stone has been left unturned and no topic is off limits. So, sure, we’ve talked about our exes and growing up, but we’ve also talked about personal mental health, hot-button politics, and so much more. And because honesty is so foundational to us, we have been able to learn from and trust one another.

Respecting each other’s time

Now that I have a big-girl job and Ricky is in his last semester of grad school, we are now busier than ever. Therefore, we do not get to talk as much as we like, but when we do it is such a treat. For us, it was essential that we learn one another’s schedules. Therefore, I know when Ricky is in class and he knows whether I’m at the gym after work. This has taught us patience and to not depend on instant gratification from each other. One thing that we do keep as a constant is greeting each other in the morning and asking each other how they slept. I do not know about Ricky, but every morning this puts a smile on my face, and strikes me by the thoughtfulness of the question itself.

Switching up how we communicate

When Ricky and I do talk it is mostly over text, but I think it important to switch it up frequently by calling Ricky after I get out of work. Getting to hear his voice is a treat and instantly makes me feel better. In addition to our texting, we send each other memes pretty much every day, which always puts a smile on my face. We also used to Snapchat quite often, but now it is an every now and then occurrence, and even rarer than that is Facetiming. Let me note though that this is what works for us and other relationships might thrive better with a different communication combo.

Quality or quantity

It’s that simple. Ricky and I get to see each other twice a month at the very most, but I know other couples do not even get that luxury. So remember, when you do get time with significant other it’s not about how long you have with them, it’s about what you do with the time you’re given. And that time does not need to be spent at a fancy restaurant or at a movie or at a museum to be made special. Staying in, cuddling on the couch, and watching Netflix is just great.

Ricky and I have bonded over the shared challenges that we have faced. We have had to put a lot of effort in our relationship, and ultimately that has led me to feeling closer to Ricky than when we previously spent three years together on our college’s campus. Absence truly did make the heart grow fonder and allow me to not take him for granted.